sometimes I feel like a motherless child

It's almost the anniversary of my mother's death, July 12, 2003.

Even when I don't think I'm thinking about it.....it creeps up on me. Sometimes it seems it happened long ago and other times the grief feels like it was yesterday.

I am getting ready to sell my mother's home. I moved in when my sister and I cared for her when she became ill with lung cancer. I realized today that once I move out, it will become more final. There will be memories and some of mom's furniture in my own home but the last real tangible link will be gone. It won't be easy but very necessary. My predominant memories here are of mother's illness. I want to remember the good times. I found her driver's license this afternoon. She had it renewed in 2002. I thought to myself...it's a good thing we don't know the future.

Very soon I will be back in 123 Cross St. A wonderful person is remodeling it. She shares my joy and excitement. She is an answer to prayer. I know mother would be very pleased.

Butterflies, receipe boxes, my mother's touch are all a part of the memories I will be taking with me.