pic by andy goldsworthy 

point the way

I join with those
who see global warming
as a threat

I acknowledge the voices
of the people whose
homes are disappearing

I seek direction
dear God
point the way

the way of healing
for earth
for water
for air

my feelings for water

I visited water
the wind was blowing
the movement of water
was fun to watch
I love
being in the
presence of water

the benefits of retreating

Today I walked
along the road

I turned off
my walkman

I listened to
and observed
the silence

at first no birds
sang
then I heard
a bird's song

robins hopped
along the grass
keeping their
distance
but in my presence

I enjoy their
company

I sat on several
park benches
under pine trees
that whispered
in the wind

I sat for a while
listening
waiting
for the appearance of deer

but no deer
showed today

pic by andy goldsworthy 

I know your name

I know your name
I hear your words
I feel your
emptiness

speak often

my spirit
understands
what you
say

I saw your tears

I saw your tears
I saw you standing
waiting
I recognized you as
one who knows
I was glad you came

Come again...

water says

water brings
messages
in dreams

water says beware
of what you do

I am more important
than you know

treat me with care
guard me as a brother

for I am in you

You and I are
one

literal reflections

I stopped along my walk
and noticed
droplets of water
hanging from a red branch

I could see
the surrounding
forest reflected
in a concave fashion

while noticing this
I also became aware
of the first signs
of spring

in the shape
of newly formed
buds
on this very
same branch

such
simple
beauty

pic by A. Goldsworthy 

more reflections

Right now I am
sitting at the only
table for one

I am looking out
across the lake and beach
where I walked earlier

I can't believe I
walked that far

I didn't know people
could see me
from the restaurant

just as well

I felt wonderfully
alone and secluded

reflections from my 3 day silent retreat

Today I walked
where only deer
kept me company

One stood so still
as we checked
each other out

He disappeared
into the thicket
when a big truck
thundered by

I wondered how long
he would have stayed
looking
if we hadn't been interrupted

Later as I continued
I saw deer tracks
deer trails
evidence of deer
everywhere

I also saw evidence of human waste - as in
beer cans, beer bottles
plastic in many forms

I wondered who would
pick this rubbish up
Maybe next time
I will

the receipe box

This past week, while taking care of insurance business, I got into a conversation with my insurance agent. She was telling me about her recent visit to her mother's house. Her mother collects things like bread wrappers and bread wrapper ties. When she visits her mother, she tries to throw things out when her mother isn't looking. She knows, if her mother would discover these things in the trash, there would be rummaging and the foraged items would make their way back into the house. As my agent continued her story, she told me how she and her brother found drawers of her mother's receipes. These she didn't discard, but instead, bought scrapbooks and carefully saved each one. I could tell that those receipes meant more to her than just food preparation.

Last evening, I was reminded of something I meant to do, but kept forgetting. Since I had been mentally reminded of this several times, I thought I better do it. The pretense was that it might be a fire hazard. I was to remove a collection of grocery bags that I had stacked near a light switch. As I was gathering them to put in a safer place, I was thinking, there may be more to this venture than safety. Sure enough, at the bottom of the bags was my own mother's receipe box.

My mother passed away almost two years ago and I have been trying to slowly get rid of what she left behind. I might add here, that often I feel overwhelmed. I took the worn brown box with its carefully organized receipes and began to browse. Some my mother had written herself, copied from a book or friend's receipe collection. Some were quite worn with age, receipes of foods I remembered eating as a child.

In this moment of discovery, stopped by a mental suggestion, I wondered why I was to discover these reminders of my mother. Maybe it was because I had been keeping especially busy, trying to come to terms with her death. Maybe, I needed a gentle reminder of who my mother was, the perfect example of hospitality with her lovingly prepared dishes. Tears flowed as I gently touched each receipe. I allowed myself to stay with the moment.

I went to bed thinking about my mother, wishing I could tell her how much I appreciated the food she prepared for me. How it was her expression of love for me and my family. When I finally fell asleep, I was thinking how many times I did tell her how much I loved her cooking. She would smile and say, "You always know when Jane loves her food."

Maybe this occasion was a gentle reminder that remembering doesn't have to be with regret and a sense of loss. It can just be.....remembering.

pic by A. Goldsworthy 

I passed an accident today

I passed an accident today
on my way to church

cars were scattered
everywhere

I wondered
whose plans
were interrupted

whose lives
were changed

my truck drove
over broken glass

a symbol

of the brokeness
of lives
when there is
pain, maybe death

I spoke a prayer
for the unseen
victims of this
perilous event

going home
an hour later
traffic was
backed up
for miles

many more lives
interrupted

it is times
like these
that we are
reminded
how

c + o + n+ n+ e+ c+ t+ e+ d

we are to
one another

as we wait

to resume
whatever
had us traveling

on that same
road

jewel in the sky 

shine, shine little jewel

s h i n e
s h i n e
little jewel
how I wonder
what you are

my world
so bright
like a sapphire
in the sky

I wonder who I am
in the scheme
of all
I s e e

my world
this tiny world
so different
from the others

and yet so perfect
for the likes of me
well planned
well thought out

time has proven this
but how much time
would it take

to make this tiny
b l u e gem into
somewhere
very different

not much time

not compared to
the time it took
to make it right

will the likes of me
think about this
when tempers
flare

or will it just

be

o v e r

be ready to risk

you don't need to be afraid, I tell myself

don't be afraid

take risks

the richness of life
spills out when
risks happen

otherwise you
exist
in a void

search your mind
what you will find
will amaze you

experience the
vastness of your
thinking

release yourself
from the small
box you call
your life

what you thought
you knew
will be left
behind

exchanged
for what
you now
know

continue to
explore
at a pace

that amazes

with priceless
moments
of discovery

the girl with the purple purse

she carries
a small purple purse
slung over her shoulder

full of essentials, like
earrings
lipstick
quarters
and
hairclips

when she comes
in the door
purple purse
is discarded

in a short time
she's ready to go
and calls out,

"Purple purse,
where's my stupid
purple purse?"

if it could answer
it might say
"Here I am,
find me where
you left me"

she grabs it up
and rushes
out the door
purple purse
held tightly

how I love
that stupid
purple purse

my hard drive bit the dust

right now I'm in Best Buy getting my hard drive replaced. I am really out of touch without my computer. I'll be back home soon.

cherokee morning song

win de ya ho
win de ya ho
win de ya ho
win de ya ho
win de ya ho
ya ya ya ya
win de ya ho
win de ya
win de ya
win de ya
ya ya ya ya

what do these words mean?

I have a terrible cold

I have a terrible cold. I have been home from school all this week. My student teacher had it first. I was feeling pretty cocky that I was seemingly escaping the germ. But, alas, it got me and got me good. My frantic pace slowed to that of a snail. But next week is spring holiday. I plan to attend a prayer vigil for peace this weekend. I hope my cold allows me that opportunity.
Some of my time at home has been spent watching C-span. I purposely disconnected myself from the goings on of politics because I was getting too upset. But am glad I plugged back in this week. Congress voted to start drilling in the Artic Refuge. I think I am going to sell my truck. I can't have a truck and be opposed to drilling in the Arctic. The two just don't go together. I need to put my money where my mouth is. (What an odd saying that is.) Bush's budget is every rich man's dream. The peace rally should be interesting. I'll try to post some pictures.
I can't say it's been an exciting week, not like some people I know. But that kind of excitement is better left to those with a sense of adventure. (You know who you are)

s o a r i n g 

loose the bird in my soul

how many obedient
birds do you know

some sit on fingers
domesticated in cages

some fly so high,
circling
that only an eye can
touch these birds

some visit
unexpectedly
delighting us with their
movements

some are visitors
for a time
and then gone

often, I think
if I were a bird

that my best times
would be when
I was the farthest
away

I would
dip and s o a r

and only when
I felt a need for food
would I set myself
down

t o d a y
I am a bird

my mind takes me
to places that only
birds can go

high a top
cliffs and ledges
no other creature
around

only the w i n d

I would know
my strength
I would see the
places of humans
from afar

they can not
tame me

I think my name
is s p i r i t b i r d

blue eye 

today I watched, WHAT THE BLEEP............

I watched my new DVD which arrived on my porch today. I was so excited I could hardly tear it open. I have been reading books by the scientists and others interviewed in the movie. I had a slight edge on what was coming. I could have watched 3 more hours and still have watched more. Someone told me, who saw it in a theatre, that I would probably want to watch it over and over. They were so right. I want to watch it again right away. But I should probably give my brain time to absorb some of it first. I know there are Bleep circles/chat rooms that I could connect with. I think I might. Otherwise, what I just saw will only be in my head. I want to know what others think. I want to process. I want to learn more. There was a convention of sorts in California a month or so ago featuring many in the film. Wow, I would have loved to have gone to that. There will be more. I'll keep my ears open. In the meantime, I'll continue reading and linking wherever I can. What the bleep do I know anyway?

separate but in unity

do you know...

to give wholely and
completely to
another

one must
know
thyself

or the giving
will be
an exercise
in disappearing

know thyself
from the inside out
treasure the person
you are

and your giving
will be
without
sacrificing your
very
soul

instead it will be
a blending of
two well defined
souls

each richer
in
unity

spontaneous love

spontaneous love
goes wherever I go
not kept in a box
under the bed
but always handy
ready to be given out
at a moment's notice
here,
have
some

O, G o d 

A glimpse of.......

You
who permeate the very essence of me
my every cell formed with the dust of stars
your love so perfect
when I imagine you
my mind is filled
to the breaking point
only when I let go
and just be in your presence
unassuming, totally free of thought
I glimpse the hem of your robes

search for God

search for God
what do I find

mystical madness
too hard to define

search for others
searching
what do I find

people unaware
of what goes on
in their minds

my thoughts
keep coming
at a maddening pace

no sleep for me
just questions
and wonderings

where is the silence
when it does come
will it bring answers
or more questions

I have a feeling
that questions
are going to be
constant
companions

some would say
this restless quest is
the punishment
for questioning

I say better to
question and
reach for depths
unknown
than to not risk
uncertainty

for in the uncertainty
God is
revealed

Dear Creator

Dear Creator,

Hello, it's me, a human being who thinks you are incredible. I wish I could be with you. But for now I must "chop wood and carry water". Yes, I'm busy trying to do what's right. I really miss when we don't talk. I guess that's up to me, though, isn't it? Help me to be still long enough to hear what you are saying. I know you have so much you want to say.
I delight to be in your presence. You delight in so much. I see your gifts everyday. Some days I remember to thank you. Other days I am not so thoughtful. But regardless, you keep sending them. You, who created the universe, care about me. That is really........what can I say.............?

With so much love,
someone created

from nothing comes much 

silence

s i l e n c e c o m e s
only when
I do no thing

when I let
busy thoughts go

when I lend my ear
to stillness

when I give my heart
time

when silence
does come

she brings her
friend wisdom

and the two
bring gifts

from nothing
m u c h
is received

crop circle 

gifts of mind

gifts of the mind

mysteries

lacking boundaries

I give my mind
my own gift...
time to be

what You give
is a deluge of
insights

awareness
of more
than
I ever
thought possible

p e a c e

perhaps

enlightenment

arranges

circumstances of

ecstacy

no longer illusions 

is it possible?

is it possible
to touch
to love
to imagine
someone
you have
never met

only dreamers
know this
to be true

dreamers take
journeys
to places where
imaginings are
no longer
illusions

sing with me

chant your song
say the words
my heart hears
who are you
how do I know
what you sing
having never
seen anything
but your soul

pic by A. Goldsworthy 

symbol

salvage
yesterday
make
believe
ourselves
letting go

for how long? 

family, those we journey with

f a m i l y,

those who
accompany us
on the journey
we make

we never know
for how long

O, little h-bird - how was I to know? 

walela

walela
is the
Cherokee word
for hummingbird

I used to think it wasn't possible

Today I found someone with my last name who claimed Cherokee heritage. My last name is an unusual German name. I also ran into a site with a beautiful song by a group called Walela singing a song called A Cherokee Morning Song. It is very beautiful. What are the chances that I have Native American heritage? Maybe not as far off as I thought. That would explain so much, so very much.

hawk visitor

hawk
you dive, you dip, you soar
your wings almost touch my truck
you come so close I see
your speckled feathers

what meaning do you bring
I pay attention
because I know
you are no accident

it's up to me to
listen with my heart
and learn
thank you, hawk
you are an image
I can hold on to.

insight 

I think Love, she drags her feet

the way he stood
I could not tell
what was on his mind

I think Love but
I'll never ask
I would not dare

for this I know
when I see
Love
she drags her feet

and Truth
is invited
later

feeling free

feeling freedom

feeling freedom
to see and become
the possibility
of whatever
I
imagine

to be
a part
of something bigger
to fit myself within
these things

this image
I hold on to

not so silent companion

I love rocks

I love rocks

I love them big
I love them small

I see (a) character in each one

they embody wisdom
some would say they're

silent

but on a still desert afternoon
when the sun warms their walls

they whisper
what they have to tell
to anyone listening

what they have to share
is as ancient as they are

the creator knows
their purpose

whisperer of wisdom

keep it simple

when in doubt about life
keep it simple

when wondering what
the future brings
keep it simple

there is an answer
somewhere there
when you keep it simple

simply stated,
keep it simple